I was buying something at the market and the checkout girl sneezed into her hands. Oh no, Swine Flu, I thought. There it spreads. In front of me was an infant with his nose and upper lip stained by mucus. He stared at me as if from a stoned daze, looked down, gazed right. I smiled at him, trying to cheer up what was likely a trying and confusing time for him. It has always been my contention that childhood is the most stressful time for humans, which is why we repress the stress and it comes out in weird ways later in life. In fact, the pain of the day-to-day is so insufferable during the first three or four years of life that we suppress all of our memories. What a collective daydream we all live. Will humanity one day forget its own infantile collaboration of consciousness? Society is young, nascent, so young in fact that sick people like Margaret Thatcher doesn't even believe in it.
The girl could have called in sick, but then again she probably doesn't have any sick days. So, she'd have to go without a day's pay. She might also get in trouble with her boss, who probably isn't fond of people taking off when they don't have sick days. If she loses her job in this economy, she's fucked. She can't afford to do anything that might jeopardize the job she hates, that demeans her and dehumanizes her and forces her to go in when she's sick. There's a lot of politics in that sneeze. And with it, the virus spreads To the lower-income baby whose immune system is already working overtime, whose stress levels are already heightened. The check out girl's disadvantage is our loss and while someone somewhere is pocketing her sick days, the sickness is what gets redistributed. We all wash our hands in the filth, from my hand to the dollar to her hand to the register and then from the register to her hand to the next customer in line, who requires change. We all require change and we'll all check out sooner or later.
We're a sick baby trying to struggle our way through our infancy, unable to remember the past and unable to think beyond self-preservation even when our needs are being met. We're redistributing the sickness.
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